Where is the light at the end of the tunnel?

Why didn't anyone tell me how awful the 1st trimester is?  Why does this feel like some kind of cruel hazing that women keep hush about until someone gets pregnant?

To say I feel sick, awful, tired, nauseous, and fatigued would be the understatement of the year.  I just don't even know who I am right now.  My A-type personality has gone out the window and the laundry is piling up higher than the Rockies.  My mom says I shouldn't complain or even pray for relief since the pregnancy symptoms are included in the gift package called life.  While I agree and feel somewhat guilty about complaining, I just want to feel normal again.

I hate asking my husband to stop the car so I can throw up on the side of the road.  I don't like being able to smell everything like some trained police sniffer dog.  I dislike laying in bed all day and being so unproductive.  I would like to eat something other than saltines and plain soup like some patient recovering from surgery.

Ok, so I had a craving for a cinnamon roll last week and ate this surprise goodness from hubby in 1 bite.

My best day so far was Monday at the baseball game with my husband's co-workers.  Our baby clearly loves baseball as much as we do because mama was feeling good at the game. . .indulging in 9 innings of baseball, salty nachos, and sweet soft serve ice cream.

Baby is a baseball fan already.

Other times, I lay in bed crying to my poor tired husband about what a crappy wife I've been.  He snores through most of my teary apologies and rants but wakes up to hand me tissues and to tell me he would continue to take care of me for 6 months, 60 months, and 60 years.  Did I win the husband lottery or what?

Ok, so I'm complaining a lot.  There are women who pray to get pregnant and would give anything to experience what I'm going through.  There are women who are going through pregnancy alone, without the love and support of a husband like mine.  I will try to offer up my misery and sickness in prayer for these women (when I can remember and not throw myself a pity party).  After all, I will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel in just 7 short months.

Eventful weekend

This weekend was full of excitement.

We finally had our housewarming/blessing on Saturday.  About 50 of our closest friends showed up for the blessing and BBQ.  The weather stayed nice all day even though clouds hovered over our house.  Hubby and I were not feeling 100% but rallied to make the party happen.  There were times I just wanted to cancel but I knew how much hubby was looking forward to finally having people over at our house.  The preparation and party must've taken a toll on my body because Sunday was not a good day for me health wise.

I went to the bathroom on Sunday morning and found blood in my urine.  We called the Dr. on call and she said to keep monitoring but that I didn't need to run to the emergency room since I wasn't feeling any sharp pains or cramps.  We prayed and asked for Mary's intercession.  It was a scary couple of hours.  I slept most of day and then woke up in time for Church.  When I woke up, I felt extremely nauseous and ran to the bathroom, I hovered over the toilet and threw up for the first time.  I haven't had much to eat except some saltines so I'm not sure what it is that came up but I felt terrible.  I still managed to make it to Mass.  I called my OBGYN's office this morning to confirm what the on call Dr told me on Sunday.  The nurse said unless I bleed again or have severe cramps, I don't need to run to the ER.   Poor hubby, feeling sick himself, had to play caregiver again. . .rubbing my back and taking care of me.  Praying that the rest of the pregnancy is uneventful and smooth sailing.

Joy and Sorrow

This past week was filled with joys and sorrows for our family.

Hubby's uncle unexpectedly passed away on Tuesday.  We both traveled to Florida for the wake & funeral.  The trip was full of excitement. . .from running across an airport (albeit small) to make my connecting flight to feeling completely miserable and useless the whole weekend.  The nausea, headache, and fatigue have intensified.  It's become unbearable.

For the last week, I've survived on the following oh so nutritious items:

White bread, peanut butter, unsalted saltines, life savers, gum, ginger ale, & nausea medicine

The plane ride was so uncomfortable.  At one point, I thought I would have to use the barf bag.  The woman sitting next to me must've thought I was a saltine addict they way I was shoving them in my mouth.  I also took the nausea medicine for the first time. . .I've been trying to avoid extra medication but I just couldn't bear the nausea any longer.  This was also the last time I drank ginger ale. . .I now have an aversion to it.

While the family mourned the loss of a beloved uncle/brother/husband, I realized that a person's goodness is highlighted and remembered upon death.  The takeaway for me was that I should focus on the positive light one brings into the world while the person is still alive.

Hubby wanted to announce our pregnancy while we were with family, thinking maybe some good news would ease the pain.  However, the timing never seemed right.  Hubby's plan to make the announcement on Father's Day was quickly shot down so we decided to wait.

We came back home on Father's Day extremely tired ready to crash.  Before heading to bed, I gave hubby his first Father's Day card.

Hubby is such a special man, extremely loving and often misunderstood.  I'm excited to see him as a dad.  He's such a great sport, he'll even wear the sticker I give him after each doctor's appointment. :)

Hubby refused Dory but wore the Nemo sticker with style.

Poor hubby hasn't been feeling well since coming back home.  I think the emotional weekend has taken a toll on his body.  He wants to make sure he doesn't get me or the baby sick so he's been taking extra precaution.

On Monday, we saw our little baby for the 1st time.  I was very emotional and filled with joy.  The tears came out of nowhere when the baby appeared on the screen.  Sweet hubby held my hand throughout the ultrasound.

Baby O'H

Baby's heartbeat was 154bmp and the estimated due date is 1/28/2015.  Oh, and we confirmed that there's just one baby. . .whew~!  Just so happy to get confirmation that the baby is healthy.

O'H life. . .so full of joys and sorrows.

Weak 6

First bump picture. 

            

In case you couldn't tell, hubby is on the left and I'm on the right.  Why is my bump so big already?!  According to numerous internet sources, the baby is only the size of a sweet pea at this point but I look like I'm carrying a bowling ball!

Week 6 started off quite rocky.  I'm feeling very weak.  The nausea, exhaustion, and headache have taken over my body.  I drank a 2 liter of ginger ale in the past 24 hours.  Yesterday, I had a pickle with my turkey burger and it almost made me gag.  I guess the pickle craving has turned into an aversion.

On Wednesday evening, I went to the bathroom and saw some blood and immediately went into panic mode.  My mind went to the worst case scenario and worry took over as tears flowed down my face.  What if I lost the baby?  What did I do wrong?  Hubby called the nurse's line at the Dr.'s office and the on call Dr. told me to monitor to see if there's any more blood.  The Dr. said that a little spotting can be perfectly normal or a sign of miscarriage or tubal pregnancy.  She said to call back to schedule an appointment if there's any more bleeding but otherwise to keep my regular appointment.  Luckily, I haven't see any more blood since.  Hubby was so comforting and loving through this ordeal, assuring me that he would not be angry if I miscarried.  We have been praying for the baby's health and normal development.  We hope that we can see a strong heartbeat when we go in for our ultrasound.

My thoughtful mother put $100 in my account to buy classical music CDs for baby & me.  So sweet and hilarious at the same time.  Do people buy CDs anymore?  Anyway, I've been listening to classical music when I can. . .how can I ignore my mom's request when she's going out of her way to be a loving grandma?   Baby likes upbeat music I think.  Maybe we'll have a musical prodigy on our hands.  Ha!

Busy weekend ahead.  Baseball game, Church function, and things to get done around the house.

Classical mom

My mom has been encouraging me to listen to classical music. . .she says its good for the baby and me.  So guess whose listening to classical music?  Baby & me.  What mother doesn't want to do something good for her child?  I think it's funny and endearing how much my mom cares about the baby's wellbeing.  She's gone through multiple miscarriages, still births, and other childbirth/pregnancy trials in her life so her concerns are understandable and loving.

I wasn't able to sleep very well last night.  Worries of finances, baby's health, and other small things occupied my mind.  I am giving those to God and trusting.  Harder to do than said but I can try.  I want to stay positive and have happy thoughts occupy my mind during my pregnancy.

Vivaldi's happy, chirpy music is helping my mood.  Maybe mom does know best huh?

Roses & Blessing

On Friday, hubby surprised me with 5 roses. . .he said 1 for every week of pregnancy.  How sentimental and amazing is my hubby?  Baby and I are blessed to have him.

Later that evening, we went to Church and had my womb blessed by Fr. Michael.  Hubby loved the prayer which included prayers for our unborn child, me the mother, and hubby the father.  We've also been praying for the baby at mealtime, before bed, and when we have a spare moment.  It's very sweet and loving when hubby leads us in prayer for our baby.  I hope that the baby knows just how much we love him/her already.

We finished off Friday evening by going to a nearby park to listen to a free concert and eat ice cream while laying on the grass.  It's become our little tradition of sorts to kick off the summer.  We looked around at all the children dancing to the music and chasing bubbles. . .realizing that next summer, we would be there with a stroller and a baby in tow.  A scary but exciting thought for the both of us at how our life will change so drastically.

Saturday was a mellow day at home.  Lots of napping, some cleaning, dinner outside, and a quiet night around the fire pit to round out the day.

I've been feeling extra tired and the cramping gets worse at night. . .sometimes keeping me up.  Magically, the cramps lessen once hubby puts his hands on my stomach.  Melts my heart.

Yesterday, we walked around our favorite farmer's market that just opened for the season.  The farmer's market is significant to us for many reasons as it's also the first farmer's market we went to together and where hubby held my hand for the first time.  . .all before we officially started dating.  How dare him! ;)  Brings back lots of great memories.  Afterwards, we came home and had lunch as hubby reminded me that everything I wanted to eat: bacon, hot dogs, kielbasa, etc were off limits because of nitrate.  So it was sausage and eggs for him, none for me.  I had some boiled eggs and I was worried it was a little undercooked.  If pregnancy has taught me anything so far, it's that I can obsess over anything.  I wonder if pregnancy paranoia is common?

We concluded the weekend by going to Church and seeing X-Men with a friend.

A good, relaxing weekend overall. . .O'H how things will change in just 7 short months.