Off topic

I know I haven't updated the blog in a while and have a full update written but I decided to publish something else today. . .

You see, today is my dad's birthday.  He would have been 77 this year.  Nope, not talking about my grandfather. . .though a lot of people mistook us for grandfather/daughter.  It's funny how offended I used to get when people thought my dad was my grandfather.  Legend says that I punched a little boy in my CCD class after the boy asked me if my dad was my grandfather.  Secretly, I think that was a proud moment for my dad as I don't ever remember getting in trouble for it.

My dad and I had a very special relationship.  Many people claim that they have/had a special father-daughter relationship but I am confident that none was more special than mine.  My dad taught me what love means, what sacrifice looks like, and how a man should treat a woman.  When I was little, my dad told me that I was the angel that he and my mom prayed for. . .and his love proved to me how much he believed that to be true.  I remember my dad coming home for lunch to spend 30 extra minutes of his day with me.  Once I started school, my dad prepared a bowl of cereal and left it on my desk for me to eat before heading to school.  He waited for my school bus at a bus stop near his office so he could wave to me before he headed into work and my school bus continued en route to school.  My dad traded his promotion to sleep on the floor while I was in the hospital awaiting my surgeries.  For long car rides, he turned the backseat of our Volvo into a suite using pillows and blankets so that I would be comfortable.  Spoiled some might say, but these were ways my dad showed me love and how an angel should be taken care of.

My dad always made me feel wanted and I loved his company too.  I loved going to my dad's softball games and playing in the pond next to the field looking for frogs.  Going to the library meant more than watching my dad read his newspapers off long wooden sticks (remember those?) and checking out books. . .it meant spending a Saturday afternoon with my dad.  I was embarrassed by my dad's singing but I tagged along with him every Wednesday so we could eat dinner at Burger King and go to his choir practice together.  Our daddy/daughter dates to the zoo was something I looked forward to even when I came home from college.  Our bond was special and thicker than any blood and
stronger than any glue.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss my goofy, lovable dad.  I miss the silly man who told his friends that he and my mom would be staying at my dorm to save money when they made the trip to my college graduation. . .I think/hope he was joking though I'll never know for sure since he died just months before my graduation.  I miss our daily phone calls, his little coded notes, and his bear hugs.  I wish he was still alive so I didn't have to miss him.

Last night, hubby asked me what characteristics my dad had that he doesn't.  Sure, my dad & hubby share many things. . .from their love for the Red Sox to their preference for walking/public transportation but they share more similarities than that.  I sat quiet while trying to think of something and realized how much my hubby is like my dad. . .at least in the way he loves me.   For a long time, I didn't think I would marry because my dad had set such high standards for love and how I should be treated.  I didn't ever think it would be possible for any man to come close to my dad. . .an unfair standard I set for myself.  However, each day, my hubby shows me that yes, it is possible to be loved as if I am an angel sent from God.

As the baby grows inside of me and we await the baby's arrival in a few months, I wish my dad was still here with us physically.  He was so amazing with babies/children and they loved him right back.  Though my dad isn't here on earth, I hope that our baby/ies will know him through our love.

Happy Birthday Daddy. . .hope you're celebrating your beautiful life today.

Celebrate!

Lots to celebrate!

Last month, we took a trip down to Florida for hubby's cousin's wedding.  We were so excited to witness the lovely couple exchange vows and celebrate their love.  I'd never been to a semi-Jewish wedding so it was fun to experience everything from the ceremony under the chuppa to chair dance with Israeli music.  Typical hubby, shed a tear or two during the ceremony. . .what can I say?  I have a sensitive man (who isn't afraid to show it).  He was overjoyed to see his cousin get married as she (and probably the rest of the family) had been waiting for a long time to find her love. . .and it was well worth the wait!

Yay, to a new life as a married couple!

When we left for Florida, I was just at the end of my first trimester and still not feeling that well.  In preparation of the nausea, I made sure to pack plenty of saltines, apples, medicine, and sweets.  I made sure I was well medicated & rested during the trip.

My exciting carry on. . .contents to be replaced by diapers & bottles in 2015.

With the exception of smelly towels in the laundry, a boat ride out to the ocean, & the heat during the wedding ceremony (where one of the wedding guests was starring me down while I stuffed my face with saltines), I was feeling better than I had during the previous weeks of the pregnancy.  In fact, towards the end of the trip, I was wondering if the 2nd trimester magic that I heard about was really happening.  Wahoo~!!

Ah~ so relaxing

Of course, the first thing I did went we arrived at home from Florida was throw up. . .actually I didn't even make it into the house.  I threw up a few more times after coming back home and haven't thrown up since last Wednesday.  I'm happy to report that I have been feeling much better, less tired, and not so sensitive to smells.  Now that I'm feeling better, I've been antsy to get out of the house and I think hubby's happy that I've been asking him to go on walks with me.

Date night at the Botanic Gardens to see the Chihuly exhibit

Oh, we also started telling our friends about our pregnancy.  Some said they figured since I wasn't drinking and others were surprised.  One of our friends took us out to ice cream & joked about naming the baby after her (luckily, she has a unisex name).

Why does ice cream taste better when you're pregnant?

Two of our friends were due on the 7th.  One of them had a beautiful baby girl yesterday & the other friend is in labor anxiously awaiting the arrival of their baby boy.

From marriage, family, to new life. . .it is an exciting time right now and there's a lot to celebrate!

Much to Celebrate

July has been a month of non stop celebrations.

Starting with 4th of July - pig roast, fireworks, friends, parties, & lots of illegal fireworks in our neighborhood.

Concert & fireworks at city/county building

Then off to the Colorado Irish Festival

Outdoor Mass.  Hubs is on left w/the choir (!!!).  

Don't worry, he was just recruited to serve as a Eucharistic Minister

All the celebrations went to my head & I got a little cocky with food.  Oh, don't worry, baby put mama in her place.  I was not able to keep anything down on Sunday.

Plain noodles w/parmesan hubs made me at 11pm

Unfortunately, this also didn't stay in my stomach

Also, what is it about July & hamburgers?  Until the smell of hamburgers started making me queazy, I never really noticed how every party, BBQ, & festivals in July serve burgers.

Doctor advised me to just go ahead and take the nausea medicine on a regular basis to relieve nausea.  Too bad she couldn't tell me when the nausea would stop.  A quick Google search says that it gets better in the 2nd trimester so there is hope.

Yesterday, we went to a going away party where the theme was an imaginary redneck town, Krackerville.  The guest of honor has been creating a silly village full of characters and families, some more offensive, than others for years.  We feasted on the usual Krackerville favorites - alligators (aka chicken), whole pig, etc.  Guests dressed up & played the part of their character.  In Krackerville, Hubs is a used car salesman named Jubal married to me, Cypriana Mae.  Our dear friend is headed off to Boston and his quirkiness will be missed.

A mansion turned into Krackerville for the day

Anxious hubby has been wanting to announce our pregnancy so we created a little announcement to send to family & friends.  He called most of his family & friends.  I haven't mentioned anything to my extended family or friends yet. . .hubby & I agree it's a cultural thing.

We are off to visit hubby's family for a family wedding.  We're excited to see everyone, celebrate with family, & take in some fresh ocean breeze.

Worrywart

Pregnancy changed me. . .my health, energy level, and in some ways my personality.  I noticed that I've become more paranoid and worry about every little thing.

I worry about the baby, any small symptoms (or lack thereof) I have, whether bleeding means I miscarried, if skipping prenatal vitamins because even the thought of taking it makes me nauseous harms the baby, whether my next meal might make me throw it all up, my husband and how exhausted he must be working & taking care of me, whether we'll be able to afford the expenses of having & raising a human being, not to mention finding a job before I start showing. . .worry, worry, worry.  Worrying probably isn't good for the baby (see - worrying again!).  And, probably is due to my lack of faith.

My whole life, though I've relied heavily on God, I still find it hard to "let go & let God."  Letting go of control is not my strong suit.  Ok, so the piles of laundry and dirty house probably say otherwise.  See, my personal mantra is "if you want it done right, do it yourself" and I absolutely hate asking for help.  It's not so much that I don't appreciate the help, it's more the feeling of I SHOULDN'T be asking for help & asking for help makes me uncomfortable.  <Insert only child stereotype>  My normal control freak self would quit worrying about everything and get everything done.  This pregnancy, however, turned the control freak into a worrywart.  I guess it's some sort of coping strategy.  This is where my loving husband brings me down to earth & humbles me.   He lets me know that I can ask for his help (& he WANTS to help), that he'll help me clean the house, doesn't mind running to the grocery store for my latest craving (even if I end up changing my mind), and reassures me that everything will be a ok.  He doesn't try to take on the world himself. . .he's a total team player - sometimes a captain, at times the 6th man, and always a cheerleader.  He asks for help, he leans on people, and he prays.  His vulnerability is his strength.  Letting go and trusting allows my husband to be free of worry.

Where is the light at the end of the tunnel?

Why didn't anyone tell me how awful the 1st trimester is?  Why does this feel like some kind of cruel hazing that women keep hush about until someone gets pregnant?

To say I feel sick, awful, tired, nauseous, and fatigued would be the understatement of the year.  I just don't even know who I am right now.  My A-type personality has gone out the window and the laundry is piling up higher than the Rockies.  My mom says I shouldn't complain or even pray for relief since the pregnancy symptoms are included in the gift package called life.  While I agree and feel somewhat guilty about complaining, I just want to feel normal again.

I hate asking my husband to stop the car so I can throw up on the side of the road.  I don't like being able to smell everything like some trained police sniffer dog.  I dislike laying in bed all day and being so unproductive.  I would like to eat something other than saltines and plain soup like some patient recovering from surgery.

Ok, so I had a craving for a cinnamon roll last week and ate this surprise goodness from hubby in 1 bite.

My best day so far was Monday at the baseball game with my husband's co-workers.  Our baby clearly loves baseball as much as we do because mama was feeling good at the game. . .indulging in 9 innings of baseball, salty nachos, and sweet soft serve ice cream.

Baby is a baseball fan already.

Other times, I lay in bed crying to my poor tired husband about what a crappy wife I've been.  He snores through most of my teary apologies and rants but wakes up to hand me tissues and to tell me he would continue to take care of me for 6 months, 60 months, and 60 years.  Did I win the husband lottery or what?

Ok, so I'm complaining a lot.  There are women who pray to get pregnant and would give anything to experience what I'm going through.  There are women who are going through pregnancy alone, without the love and support of a husband like mine.  I will try to offer up my misery and sickness in prayer for these women (when I can remember and not throw myself a pity party).  After all, I will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel in just 7 short months.

Eventful weekend

This weekend was full of excitement.

We finally had our housewarming/blessing on Saturday.  About 50 of our closest friends showed up for the blessing and BBQ.  The weather stayed nice all day even though clouds hovered over our house.  Hubby and I were not feeling 100% but rallied to make the party happen.  There were times I just wanted to cancel but I knew how much hubby was looking forward to finally having people over at our house.  The preparation and party must've taken a toll on my body because Sunday was not a good day for me health wise.

I went to the bathroom on Sunday morning and found blood in my urine.  We called the Dr. on call and she said to keep monitoring but that I didn't need to run to the emergency room since I wasn't feeling any sharp pains or cramps.  We prayed and asked for Mary's intercession.  It was a scary couple of hours.  I slept most of day and then woke up in time for Church.  When I woke up, I felt extremely nauseous and ran to the bathroom, I hovered over the toilet and threw up for the first time.  I haven't had much to eat except some saltines so I'm not sure what it is that came up but I felt terrible.  I still managed to make it to Mass.  I called my OBGYN's office this morning to confirm what the on call Dr told me on Sunday.  The nurse said unless I bleed again or have severe cramps, I don't need to run to the ER.   Poor hubby, feeling sick himself, had to play caregiver again. . .rubbing my back and taking care of me.  Praying that the rest of the pregnancy is uneventful and smooth sailing.

Joy and Sorrow

This past week was filled with joys and sorrows for our family.

Hubby's uncle unexpectedly passed away on Tuesday.  We both traveled to Florida for the wake & funeral.  The trip was full of excitement. . .from running across an airport (albeit small) to make my connecting flight to feeling completely miserable and useless the whole weekend.  The nausea, headache, and fatigue have intensified.  It's become unbearable.

For the last week, I've survived on the following oh so nutritious items:

White bread, peanut butter, unsalted saltines, life savers, gum, ginger ale, & nausea medicine

The plane ride was so uncomfortable.  At one point, I thought I would have to use the barf bag.  The woman sitting next to me must've thought I was a saltine addict they way I was shoving them in my mouth.  I also took the nausea medicine for the first time. . .I've been trying to avoid extra medication but I just couldn't bear the nausea any longer.  This was also the last time I drank ginger ale. . .I now have an aversion to it.

While the family mourned the loss of a beloved uncle/brother/husband, I realized that a person's goodness is highlighted and remembered upon death.  The takeaway for me was that I should focus on the positive light one brings into the world while the person is still alive.

Hubby wanted to announce our pregnancy while we were with family, thinking maybe some good news would ease the pain.  However, the timing never seemed right.  Hubby's plan to make the announcement on Father's Day was quickly shot down so we decided to wait.

We came back home on Father's Day extremely tired ready to crash.  Before heading to bed, I gave hubby his first Father's Day card.

Hubby is such a special man, extremely loving and often misunderstood.  I'm excited to see him as a dad.  He's such a great sport, he'll even wear the sticker I give him after each doctor's appointment. :)

Hubby refused Dory but wore the Nemo sticker with style.

Poor hubby hasn't been feeling well since coming back home.  I think the emotional weekend has taken a toll on his body.  He wants to make sure he doesn't get me or the baby sick so he's been taking extra precaution.

On Monday, we saw our little baby for the 1st time.  I was very emotional and filled with joy.  The tears came out of nowhere when the baby appeared on the screen.  Sweet hubby held my hand throughout the ultrasound.

Baby O'H

Baby's heartbeat was 154bmp and the estimated due date is 1/28/2015.  Oh, and we confirmed that there's just one baby. . .whew~!  Just so happy to get confirmation that the baby is healthy.

O'H life. . .so full of joys and sorrows.